"...one reason why the ego fails to develop is that too much of its energy is tied up in its defenses. This is a vicious circle. The defenses can not be given up because the ego is inadequate, and the ego remains inadequate as long as it relies upon the defenses. How can the ego break out of this cycle?"
- Calvin Hall from A Primer on Freudian Psychology
Knowledge is power they say, and it is. But it is a broad power that releases slowly over time. The conscious mind is like a large ship which turns slowly. Real change brought about by conscious will takes a massive and continuous expenditure of energy over a long period of time. When I think about this I feel simultaneously hopeful and overwhelmed.
Other powers exist though. Let me tell you for a moment about Shostakovich 7. There are an always growing number of masterpieces on my bucket list of pieces to listen to. It is comforting to me to consider the number of great works which exist on this planet which I have not yet experienced. I have purposely delayed listening to Beethoven 8 and Mahler 3 and the list goes on and on. I save them like wine in a cellar and when the occasion arrives I pop open a bottle and really listen to it. That's the thing I want to sit down and listen to something. Not listen while doing another thing but just listen. I popped open Shostakovich 7 the other night and had my first drink.
I have been particularly excited about this piece because I have heard stories about the Bernstein version with Chicago from various sources that have described it as an unbelievable performance. I remember reading a book in high school which listed it as the only true perfect performance and Bernstein himself regarded it as one of his three best recordings. So I was excited to get to know it.
It is an enormous work, roughly an hour and a half. The first movement alone is nearly a half hour. It begins with this exclamatory but sort of ordinary sounding introduction. It's almost as if it represents life before some traumatic event which when reflected back on is remembered as naive and innocent and vulnerable. This makes it hard to fully enjoy the big moments in the beginning. You feel like you're watching someone in a moment of ecstasy with the knowledge that their life is about to come crashing down on itself.
From there the first movement peels itself apart, becoming thinner and thinner until really just a single folk sounding melody remains. This melody is passed about and repeated and eventually begins to transform itself as the first dark presence of the piece is felt. There is a rhythmic stability imposed which permeates throughout the climax of the first movement and becomes at times relentless in its aiding of the agony expressed. Like an aid to the evil committed it pushes it along and props it up, gives it structure and clarity.
The totality of the agony conveyed is unapproachable by words. It is disjunct and relentless and projects a level of destruction which is difficult to absorb. While this section is not easy to talk about, it is I think the emotional heart of the piece. Everything that comes before it is leading to it and everything after an attempt to understand, heal and rebuild from it.
The remainder of the first movement again winds itself down layer by layer until only a thin texture remains. The remaining movements move through alternating stages of healing and further grief and in the triumphant moments of the final movement there even seems to be some kind of answer. With Shostakovich there is always so much beneath the surface to be considered. He was a man writing as both an artist and a survivor. He had things to say and yet was terrified to say them. He learned to conceal his true message beneath that which was necessary to keep himself and his family safe.
The power of this music is different than knowledge because it is penetrates deeply into experience. I have the sensation of being filled with it as I listen, propping me up higher and taller. It has the effect of turning the mind, conscious and unconscious, towards a new sight. It points us in a new direction or it shocks us out of an old way of thinking or it reminds us of something important, perhaps even revealing what is truly important. This is, in a limited and incomplete account, why I love music. It is a complete human experience. Two pieces have sustained me during these past few weeks of self imposed psychological demolition, Mahler 6 and Shostakovich 7. I feel immensely grateful for these courageous and talented men who were able to bottle a bit of their lives and their understanding and transmit it for the benefit of humanity. I feel a connection to these men which is strong and large and sustains me, it is a pure love. Not something which comes easy.
Good Times
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